You just can't make this stuff up...

[XavierMace]

Squirrel goes on rampage, injures 3

BERLIN (Reuters) - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

And here you thought this only happened in the movies.

[Raith]

We need to ban squirrels!

[XavierMace]

Can you imagine going into work the next day...

Co-Worker: WTF happened to you?
You: I got attacked by a squirrel.
Co-worker: What?
You: I got attacked by a squirrel.
Co-worker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You: It was a big squirrel.
Co-worker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[dnguyenaz]

ha that sucks. heres a good one i found a while back. enjoy

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin06.asp

OVerzealous zookeeper Fridrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more then a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant a olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knoced Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. it seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "Shit happens!"

[BATMAN]

No joke: Squirrels are crazy fast little suckers.  I once had a friend's pet squirrel jump on me and run circles around my body so fast that I couldn't even touch it.  I went to grab it about 10 times, and every time my hand would even get near it, it would disappear in a blur.  Having one of those things ATTACK you would be ridiculous!  Go old guy with the crutch!
-BATMAN

[Morgann0]

This can be summed up in one word: lawl.

[Vince]

This is why you shoot them in the head at every possible opportunity.