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The 10 types of milsim players you meet
Sept 16, 2004
Umpota
1.Farva - This guy's best days are behind him, the best time in Farva's life were spent in the military, and he's hellbent on reliving them. Don't bother trying to argue or reason with the guy, it's like arguing with a five year old child who wants to play with a chainsaw.
2.Gear whore – Gear whore loves his gear. He owns at least 3 setups from each company, and considers spending $1000 on a Paraclete RAV complete with soft armor inserts to be a “Great way to get startedâ€. Gear whore almost exclusively sticks to an m16 / m4 setup. Gear whore is can be identified by his constant complaints that stores like lightfighter tactical are constantly out of stock.
3.Gun whore – Gun whore's mission in life is to own or have owned every airsoft gun in existence. Disdaining AEGs as “mundane and boringâ€, gun whore now exclusively buys guns that are at least 15 years old.
4.1337 H4X0R – 1337 H4X0R has been raised since birth on first person shooters like Doom, Quake, Counterstrike, and Day of Defeat. 1337 H4X0R seeks to combine his 1337 skills in Counterstrike to milsim games. However, he has yet to learn that wall hacks, aimbots, and bunny hopping are horridly impractical for real world use.
5.Jank – Jank loves all things Japanese. He has an extensive collection of anime, from children's shows to bizarre and disgusting tentacle porn. Although he has never been to Japan, Jank is sure that the Japanese are a welcoming and open minded culture. As an extension of his love of all things Japanese, Jank has begun a foray into the world of airsoft.
6.Businessman – Businessman comes in two flavors – legitimate and illegitimate. Legitimate businessman is seeking to make airsoft his own home business. Although he has so far made less money than a McDonald's “drool caseâ€, legitimate businessman is sure things will pick up as soon as he develops a customer base consisting of gun whores and janks. Illegitimate businessman is a professional scammer, while he may seem to be identical to legitimate businessman, illegitimate businessman makes his money by claiming to upgrade guns, shipping broken or nonfunctional guns, or simply refusing to send any good that have been paid for.
7.Unlucky – Unlucky is has yet to learn that they have no luck. Following a series of painful and disastrous injuries, unlucky still insists on playing milsim games, even after suffering from debilitating injuries. Scientists have yet to identify why unlucky does not learn from his injuries and find a less hazardous hobby.
8.Crazy Asian – Crazy Asian has been playing airsoft for longer than 1337 H4X0R has been out of diapers. Crazy Asian, through a variety of ancient secrets, has mastered the ability to be totally invisible outside, and uses this to great effect against gear whore, farva, 1337 H4X0R, and Jank.
9.Wannabe – Wannabe never served in the military, however he now tries to “walk the walk†wannabe can usually be found clinging to farvas. Wannabe now makes outrageous claims such as working as a secret government operative. Wannabe may appear to be similar to gear whore, however, wannabe's main focus is emulating the latest “flavor of the week†military unit. A spawning for wannabe activity is after the release of a military action movie. The latest wannabe spawning was the release of Blackhawk Down. Blackhawk Down caused a spike in wannabe Delta Force and Ranger milsim players.
10.Newbie – Newbie is trying to have a champaign diet on a King Cobra 40 oz budget. Rather than purchase an average gun, newbie has decided to play wearing a camouflage t-shirt and jeans, and carry a springer pistol and $30 mini AEG. Newbie still wonders how other players' guns are able to shoot so much farther than his. Newbie can often be seen taking advice on tactics from Wannabe and Farva.