[I've posted this once before here, but it's time to do it again. [
] ]
Now here's an attitude.....
If General George Patton were alive and President of the USA, this
would probably be his Fireside Speech:
My fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime
has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It
is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists.
One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side
during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Bulgaria, Australia, Norway and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The
money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the
costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
world hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to cut taxes and
solve some local problems. On that note, a word to terrorist
organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate
you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys. Work out a
peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of
you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces
there. Big tables, too.
I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay
your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and
limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world.
I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra
tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna
put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your
oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty--starting now.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by
saying 'darn tootin'.
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around
the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about
everyone on the planet. It is time to cut taxes here because we will
not be spending boodles of cash on other peoples problems.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
God bless America.
